M30 & F29 - Breakup

I (M30) am going through a pretty rough breakup with my “ex” girlfriend (F29) of 3 years. She was my first real relationship and I am having an extremely hard time navigating this pain, as I have never experienced anything like this.

Short version of what happened. She was sexually assaulted by a “friend,” someone we both trusted while she was blackout drunk. I knew something was up, as she started drinking heavily. Tried to ask her several times what was going on, and eventually found out from a third party, but hadn’t told her I knew yet. I addressed the drinking issue and tried to ask her what was going on several times. She just kept getting upset and saying nothing was wrong. Then It got to the point she “ended” things with me.

She was scared/embarrassed to tell me and the only other person that knew was a friend of the man who assaulted her. Since she wouldn’t talk to me, she started confiding in the friend of the guy who assaulted her. Within a few days of “ending” things with me, she started sleeping with this other guy, and is essentially in a rebound relationship with him already. She says she hasn’t felt like I have been emotionally available to her for a long time and didn’t feel comfortable coming to me to talk about it.

We still live together (have separate rooms luckily). We have 2 pets we got together, share a car, P.O. Box, insurance, etc…and just renewed our lease in December (my only option is to sublease the other room to get out of my lease). Our lives are still very intertwined. I am extremely heartbroken after several years of many great experiences, and growing and building a life together.

I’m sure she is going through a lot emotionally from the assault, but the fact she has rebounded so quickly is hurting me so much. She says she is checked out of our relationship after “not feeling like she has a had a partner to talk to in a long time.”

Do I wait this out, hope she snaps out of this, and work on building back and improving our communication/connection? I am deeply in love with her and even though I feel so betrayed, I am willing to work through things with her, as she has been very good to me in the past.

Or…do I just accept that this is over and try to move on? I know people go through much worse break ups, but being my first one I am having a really hard time.

How do I move on if I decide that is my best move? I haven’t been able to think about anything else in weeks. I feel all the joy has been ripped out of me.