AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 months

I love my boyfriend but im not in love with him anymore.

we've known each other for around a year (as friends) and have been dating for around 3 months. we ARE long distance.

we've had a few hard conversations already and a few arguments. he recently became unemployed around a month ago and is now relying on random side jobs to do for money. he lives with his parents and vents to me about how horrible his life is pretty much everyday.

he's helped me through a lot of my trauma and things. i appreciate him so much but im just not in love anymore.

i understand it's difficult for him living with his parents but im tired of him using me as a therapist 24/7. especially when i work a full time job as a medical technician. he often complains about how empty his life feels but he doesn't try to do anything to change it. he works about once a week and lays in his room all day. i've also made several plans and suggestions to come see him and he denies all of them. he recently told me that his family and siblings don't even know about me. meanwhile all my friends and family know about him. he claims that it would cause drama in his family but i don't find that to be a good reason.

for valentine's day i sent him 2 packages with gifts, cologne, his favorite snacks, etc.

he told me that he would send my gift soon but didnt have the money. so i sent him 80$ to ship the package. he STILL never shipped it. he bought me a 50 dollar gift with the money instead which i was very confused by because that's not what i was sending him the money for. i was sending him that money for the package and he knew that. he never told me thats what he spent the money on but i know he did. because there's no way he suddenly got the money for a random gift for me. 3 days after i sent him that money.

i appreciate the gift but i feel frustrated because that's not what we agreed on.

we've gotten into a few arguments and each time, he starts bringing up his past trauma or issues. he tries to deflect and make me feel bad for him. i do feel bad for his past but that's not an excuse. especially when we're in the middle of a heated conversation about a problem in our relationship. he says things like "when you ask for space you make me feel like a small kid being shut out in the rain" what the hell?? you're a grown man.

i feel bad because i know he is very depressed but i feel like he's always depressed. he always has been but i didn't expect to be his constant therapist.

i just feel like we aren't very compatible and he's just not trying hard enough in his personal life or in our relationship. im constantly trying to fix things but im getting tired of it. i feel bad but i have a full life to lead and i feel like im just being held back and things aren't working.

how do i break up with him?? he's depressed all the time so i don't know when i should do this.

how do i go about doing this without completely blindsiding him??