40 [M4F] #Seattle I don't know

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm almost 40. Am I supposed to jack off in the shower for another 10 years or untill I don't care too much anymore? This is wrong. Is that what makes my mind wander and wonder what if? "Idle hands are the devil's workshop"....well what the hell is idle cock then? It's worse. It's got me wondering and thinking. Am I a bad person for having these thoughts? I'm not sure if I'm actually looking or looking for someone to talk to. I'd like a woman's perspective. Maybe insight if you have any. Or maybe we both just need to vent! I'm not ready for anything. I'm not saying I'm committed to doing anything. You're it.

So here was my previous post from a while back. From that post I did speak to a few other people in similar situations. Thank you to them for reaching out and sharing with me. I have given it more time to reflect and consider this from different sides and situations. I have tried to do better. I have tried to communicate my needs more often. I'm at my breaking point. I have decided I want to actively seek a local and discreet partner. I'm a respectful laid back guy who likes to be goofy. I enjoy the outdoors, pets wnd animals in general and family is very important to me. I'm in no rush to meet. My availability is during the working week. If you're looking and I interested in seeing it we have a connection please message me and tell me a little about yourself.