Sorry.

We became us, With preconceived notions of love. The starlight illuminated and revealed the superficial, As if we could ever shed our shadows and leave them behind. The two souls resided in this mortal coil, Fading away day by day. Secrets held by one and then by us.

We shared our lives one tale at a time, Like gossip between friends, Or campfire stories of past injustices or betrayals. I learned through my time with you, The most beautiful flowers bloom when the time is right.

We spent our days and contemplated if our notion of love itself was just a farce, If we had spent our years seeking something that could never happen with others. All this deep-seated pain manifested into one ghost or another. Leaving us with the question of whether this was everything we were made for. Our history wasn’t kind, We lashed out. We wrecked upon the shores of others. Yells and challenges that tested the waters of past connections. We gave up at points we wish we hadn’t. But with it, we built our resilience for life.

Our lips curled into smiles that could melt even the coldest of hearts. The sound of our laughter could bring a room to its knees. The moments of silence between us, Punctuated with the tiny gestures of affection. Every second left me breathless. The days passed, leaving me wanting more.

When you left, You took a piece of me that I had happily agreed to give, Through it, I hope you find the fortitude to keep living, Surviving, And loving.

I hope you, mi amor, hold space for another as you held it for me. I don't want to be your last love. I want to be the love that showed you the possibilities,

I thought of myself as the last to have a piece of your heart, But that was selfish of me. Your soul is too generous to be locked to just one person, A pure, unwavering love for life that had no equal. All I can do now is release any ownership I believed I had, And wish you keep the gentleness of your being, You etched your very essence into my soul, And left it even more beautiful for the next person who sees,

I hope one day you’ll look me up, And that we’ll have that cup of coffee we swore we’d share.

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If you see this Astha, I'm sorry. I wish I could take back everything I said and did, not because I regret it, but because you didn't deserve how I treated you, your wishes, and your feelings.

I'll live with the fact I messed up the only relationship that made me feel something in years. You brought my guard down and your essence made a home within the featherline cracks in my soul. You gave me hope of future love and I'll always miss you. I'm sorry,