Is attraction something manufactured, uncovered or noticed?

I have been at game for some time and I don't have a success rate to call myself a player yet. I am aware of some manipulation tactics in game and I do not want to resort to that mainly because, I suck at it and also empathy in me always sabotages with my manipulation. It makes me wonder what is the actual nature of attraction? Is it something created out of thin air when none exists? Or is it something which is unearthed by removing the obstacles in it or is it something which is just there and noticed by the two?