Ski resorts in a nutshell

Snowmass: you can’t say its name without saying ass, if Aspen was the cooper family from young Sheldon, Snowmass would be Sheldon

Breckenridge: if keystone had some actually sick terrain

Vail: Vibes similar to a billboard showing some rich shady corporate guy

Big Sky: the love child of Arapahoe Basin and Copper mountain

Keystone: if you took Breckenridge and removed all the good high alpine terrain

Kicking Horse: “and she’s buyyyyying a stairwayyy to heaven”

Arapahoe Basin: absolute perfection. Gnarly as hell, stunningly gorgeous

Crested Butte: great only really for beginners and true experts

Jay Peak: literally just the Alta of the east coast

Snowbird: “I did a double black at park city, so I should be good, right?”

Winter Park: “you know what? Let’s build a ski resort with some SICK expert terrain but make it IMPOSSIBLE to get to, much less lap. it’ll be hilarious!”

Wolf Creek: it’s like Alta and Snowbird pissed on a random hill in Colorado

Jackson Hole: Jackson’s what now? Is that the new name for the S&S couloir?

Kirkwood: A-Basin took a trip to Tahoe to get away from the constant wind, but found itself in the same situation