My 30s feels like teenage/20s

I always feel like I missed out a lot in my teenage and 20s. Growing up in a traditional Asian environment, grades/money are everything, life is all about work and there's a certain route we're expected to follow. For example my parents were mad at me for not getting into medicine even I got into law and they wouldn't talk to me for months. I spent my youth studying and working really hard, get into a top firm, get promotions etc. I'd only have 'productive hobbies' like running, reading.

However, when i was in my late 20s, all of I sudden I felt suffocated and even had suicidal thoughts. I've been seeing therapist for years but it didn't really help. I then quit my job, took a few months off, cut ties with my usual circle and went overseas. Everyone thought I was crazy.

Now that I am 30, I actually feel like a rebellious teenager. I am finally pursuing hobbies that I enjoy. My job pays below average, but it allows me to rest and do things I like. However I completely avoid my family and old friends because they trigger negative feelings - they are pursuing the tradtional path and think i made a terrible decision. Also my finance is also suffering because I can't save much with my current salary.

Anyone having similar struggles? Will I go back to 'normal' and feel like a grown-up adult? Or does it mean I've transitioned into a new phase of life?