Dommes who have male partners: How often do you have penetrative sex? Is it important to you?

I am a Domme and my boyfriend is my sub. I love him very much and while we have just started transitioning our four year relationship in a D/S one it’s going fantastically.

However there’s always been a ~big~ problem with our sex life. Our parts don’t really match up :/. I often struggle to have penetrative sex with him and I would say 8/10 times it’s painful and 9/10 times at least uncomfortable. There’s just a lot of girth that I pretty much never can adjust to even with warm up, lube, dildos beforehand, or basically anything. It’s kinda once in a blue moon it works out and I have to really really want it so maybe every six months?

He says that it doesn’t matter to him that much, we can do a ton of other stuff. I still feel internal pressure even as a Domme with all the control to have PIV sex not because of him but because…societal expectations? Usual sexual expectations? Though now that I can be my true kinky self I am a lot more creative with what we do that keeps it exciting. Yet it still feel a bit of mixed emotions about this predicament.

I’m curious those who have penis having partners how often do you have penetrative sex? If not what do you do instead? Is it considered a reward or a regular part of your scenes? How can I make withholding penetration sexy for both of us?