Is it weird to not feel anything?

First off, not here to normalize/justify self-harm. And I'm fine, just a couple scratches really.

But yeah, is it weird not to feel anything after cutting myself for the first time? I used to pride myself on how no matter how depressed I was, or how bad things got, I never self-harmed. Until today. And honestly? Didn't feel anything. Like, obviously it hurt physically, but mentally? Emotionally? Totally apathetic. I guess I never realized how pervasive that void of emptiness in my chest was until now. Today wasn't even a bad day either - I've certainly had worse - I'm not spiraling and I have no intent on suicide; it was really more of an experiment I suppose? And I sorta felt like I deserved it, for being such a pathetic excuse for a human being and a failure, etc. And to kinda prove to myself that yes, I am depressed, and I'm not making it up. After a bit of time I suppose I feel a bit shitty now, but to be honest, I almost enjoyed the pain as well? Like, if nothing else, I actually felt something for a moment once the pain kicked in. Idk. Also just sorta venting my crazy thoughts right now, since posting it online feels more productive than a journal or whatever.