Straight friend or possibly bi-curious?
I’m a gay man, and for about a year I’ve been regularly playing sport with this guy from my club who's straight. For the first 10 months, our relationship was very neutral, we mostly texted only to schedule matches and had light small talk at the club or after matches. Nothing felt ambiguous.
Things started to shift after 11 months. After matches, instead of heading out right away like before, he began lingering more to chat. He also started bringing up things like going to the gym, shower, or sauna afterward, which i thought was somewhat odd.
Where things clearly shifted is when one time we were talking about food one day and he mentioned shawarma. I said I liked it too, and he suggested we go together after the next week. When we did go, he seemed a bit nervous, paid for my meal without me expecting it, and we ended up sitting and talking for quite a while about life, work and pretty much anything.
When we were leaving, I casually mentioned that it was too bad he didn’t drink, because going for a beer after a match could be nice. Up until then, he had always said he didn’t drink. He immediately corrected himself, said he does drink (just not at home), and said yes to going for drinks another time. That surprised me, it was as if he was waiting for an invitation.
At one point I casually mentioned that i was gay (he didn't know i was gay until then), and he was quite happy i came out to him and told me he was very gay friendly. I feel like our relationship really changed after that, he was way more open with me, sharing photos of his trips, texting me like every other day or so. Since then, we went out for lunch 2 times which he paid both times and went out for drinks once.
What confuses me is that he knows I’m gay and likely senses that I find him attractive (i tell him quite often hes good looking, i like his beard, i like his body etc), yet he hasn’t created distance or shut anything down. At the same time, he hasn’t shown any clear sign from his side for anything that could happen yet.
I’m not assuming anything or trying to push a situation. I’m just curious how this reads to others, especially to the bi or bi-curious men on here. Does this sound like someone who might be bi-curious or testing the waters, or more like a straight man who just likes me as a friend?
Posted Feb 26, 2026, 3:31 AM UTC