Are my parents narcissists? I feel like I’m unlovable and there’s something wrong with me

I don’t know if this is narcissistic parenting or not, I’ve just read through the subreddit and some of the behaviours sound eerily like my parents’ and I just want to get this off my chest. 

For some context, I have CPTSD, major depressive disorder, and generalised anxiety disorder, which is a major reason why I find it hard to get out of my room at times, find it hard to socialise, and find it hard to clean my room but also one of my parents’ (my dad and step-mum) biggest gripes with me. I’ve had these mental health conditions since I was 11 (I’m 20 now) and they still can’t seem to understand it. Even after I attempted and have gone to the hospital for suicidal thoughts other times, receiving a call about me self-harming (they thought I did it for attention), having to drop out of school because my mental health was so shit, and even after kicking me out once because of it, they still can’t understand or try to emphasise with me. 

My dad even called me a coward years later for attempting to take my life when in that hospital room he was begging me not to do it again. When I wasn’t allowed to have my anti-depressants on me to take, if he was mad, he wouldn’t give them to me. If he’s mad now, he’ll ignore me. He’ll move rooms if I’m in the same one and refuse to talk to me. Mind you he turned 50 this year. He talks about me behind my back to my step-mum, calling me useless, a bitch, threatening to bash my head in, and always compares me to other people who have gotten a job or can drive a car or people who have it so much worse than me that they can’t even dream of those things. He also likes threatening to kick me out of his house and he did so more when I was a minor, threatening to send me to my grandparents and my biological mum’s.

He makes fun of me when I cry and says I’m too emotional and hard to talk to. Recently he threatened to punch me when I was crying. When I can talk to him, he says I’m a smartass and “I know I’m not a good person,” and “If I was a bad person I would’ve abandoned you guys after your mum left,” and often walks away before I can finish talking. If I don’t say anything, he says I’m like a brick, but if I say something he’ll layer on and make fun of how I can’t work, can’t study, can’t do anything and that I wouldn’t be able to survive outside without him. 

My step-mum is always on my dad’s side and says I’m difficult to talk to and can’t be criticised. But she expects me to sit down and have dinner with her and my dad after he threatened to punch me. She’s a little more sympathetic to me and will celebrate my accomplishments and genuinely wants to listen to me but she still can’t understand why it’s so hard for me to speak about my feelings. I feel like I can’t confide in her because she’ll tell my dad and they’ll ridicule me together. 

Although I respect my parents for all the sacrifices they’ve made and how hard they work, I really can’t justify this anymore. I just feel like everyday I’m being beat down. It’s hard to think I’m worth anything when this is how I’m treated by my own parents. Did I do something to make me them feel like this?