How do you handle a partner who keeps bringing up a past relationship?

I’m 24M and reflecting on a past relationship so I can handle things better in the future.

My ex had a strong emotional history with a guy she once liked (kinda situationship. While we were together, she would often mention memories involving him, both when we were alone and sometimes in front of friends. It wasn’t direct comparison, but it happened enough to make me feel uncomfortable and intimidated.

She stayed in contact with him, which I didn’t object to since I was also friendly with past classmates I had dated. What felt strange, though, was that he would occasionally invite her out, and she never clearly told him she was in a relationship.

I didn’t bring up my discomfort because I thought it might seem insecure or disrespectful to question someone about their past. I believed trust meant not policing those things.

Now I’m trying to learn from this.

• Is it normal to feel uncomfortable in situations like this?
• Should I communicate early when something bothers me?
• Where’s the line between trust and ignoring your own boundaries?
• Is it reasonable to expect a partner to set clear boundaries with someone who once had feelings for them?

Be honest with me 😭