Not sure where I'm supposed to turn.

Okay so I'm a really really shy person. I feel like I've been a victim of reverse discrimination my whole life, I was born nice, and when society gets together as a group it gets ugly.

So I,what I think happened was, I have this insomnia and voices all the time, so like I watch because it will help me goto sleep finally.

I woke up I think the other day to someone going on about having a service on their phone that can see people around watching..,disclosing this all to my partner as she's arriving Okay whatever..

Now I've got these flashes of being incapacitated and taken upstairs and like my spouse is telling me all these horrible things about how my life was a joke..and they're like mentally raping me like using her in the other room while I'm like made to watch

Like I remember specific details about how she said she read books and I should of listened to her,but who the fuck would want to anyway...?

So my life is in shambles now, I'm sorry if this all seems so vague I was with this person was 7 years, the look in her eye like 3 weeks in, went instant red flag started taking advantage of me,and I'm like already a lonely person.

So I'm like I don't know if I should even care if I watch.. I feel like nothing and I'm not sure any input could help.