I’m a recruiter, and I’m tired too

Everyone talks about how broken hiring feels from the candidate side. Fair. It can be messy and opaque. But from this side of the table, it’s exhausting in a different way, and sometimes I think applicants underestimate how much of the chaos they contribute to.

I’m juggling dozens of open roles, hiring managers who change requirements mid-search, leadership pressure to move faster, and candidates who say they’re very interested while actively interviewing at six other companies and disappearing the moment something shinier appears. I understand keeping options open. I encourage it. What drains me is performative enthusiasm followed by silence.

Another uncomfortable truth is a huge percentage of applicants do not read the job description. They mass-apply, ignore location constraints, ignore required skills, ignore salary bands that are clearly stated, then express frustration when they’re screened out. When I decline someone who lacks a core requirement, I’m accused of gatekeeping. When I try to give honest feedback, it gets debated as if I’m negotiating the criteria of the role itself.

Interview no-shows have quietly become normal. Last-minute cancellations with no follow-up. Offers accepted verbally, then declined on start week because a counteroffer appeared. I don’t fault anyone for optimizing their career. I do question the normalization of treating commitments as placeholders.

Candidates often say recruiters ghost. That happens, and it shouldn’t. What’s less discussed is how often recruiters get ghosted too. Messages left on read after multiple follow-ups. Availability shared, interviews scheduled, then radio silence. It creates a cycle of distrust on both sides.

Here’s the controversial part, sometimes the process becomes more rigid because of applicant behavior. Extra confirmation emails exist because of no-shows. Tighter screening exists because of mass applications. Structured interviews exist because hiring managers got burned by charisma over competence. Many “corporate” safeguards are reactions to past candidate unpredictability.

The hiring market has trained everyone to operate defensively.

I still care about candidate experience. I still push for clarity and faster decisions. I still advocate internally when someone is strong but unconventional. But the narrative that recruiters are the only source of dysfunction ignores the mutual erosion of trust happening in real time.

If we want better hiring, accountability has to be shared. Respect is reciprocal. Enthusiasm should be genuine. Communication should be consistent on both sides.

I’m tired of being framed as the villain in a system where everyone is hedging.