how can I (F19) win him (M19) back??

Hey guys,

I‘m in a bit of a pickle;

so I‘ve got a boyfriend and he lives 2000km away from me, we‘ve seen each other in july 2025 after 3 and a half months of long distance relationship. He is a really amazing boyfriend and I love him so much but I messed up big time.

First problem is my anger issues, I get angry easily and get really naggy, which I have been working on and getting better at controlling it; I have been not the nicest to him and only realized it after I calm down.

Second problem is that I didn’t give him enough reassurance according to him, to which I told him early on in the relationship that I want to know when that happened but it only got mentioned once.

Fast forward to december 2025; I‘m in a really bad state with my family, stress, school and job searching and don‘t have much time for him, which he know since we still texted everyday.

Then comes January, but I will just talk about late January because that’s where the change really happened.

I realize that he‘s taking an insane amount of time to reply to me.. like I‘m talking 7 hours to 13 hours (mind you we have the same time zones) so I ask the question if he still loves me and he then got defensive and said „what would you say if I got angry now?“ to which I said its fine because hes got the right to be angry at me because I asked a dumb question. He answered with something along the lines of „I‘m not like you“ which hurt me a bit.

After begging him to talk to me and sending multiple messages he drops the bomb saying that he hasnt felt loved by me for a while but he never let me know about his feelings?? We agreed that we would tell each other if we were ever doubting the other ones love.. He tells me that hes been pushing away/ shutting off his feelings towards me to feel better and I have been telling him that we should work harder for each other because we are making mistakes with me taking the bigger blame because I have not been a good girlfriend. We even agreed that if something like this happens that we should talk to each other and solve it.

Yesterday he told me that he‘s not sure that he will love me as much as he used to.. I dont care if he doesnt love me that much anymore I will work my ass off to keep us together because I can‘t see myself with anybody else but him and I only want him.

I apologize if this doesnt fit/ or if its too sappy, I‘ll post it on relationship advice too :)