“People can leave quietly and not be shunned” is this even true?

I had a conversation with a family member about one of my childhood friends who has recently got married and announced a pregnancy in VERY quick succession. I was really happy for her because she’s had a lot of bad luck over the years with relationships and she’s finally settling and starting a family. She was baptised as a teenager as most were and was disfellowshipped previously.

My family member said that she had recently been publicly reproved and so we were having a giggle at the swift wedding.

Family member then said “I’ve never understood her, why does she stay in the faith if she doesn’t really follow the rules”

I said well she doesn’t really have a choice now does she? She’s trapped. Probably very traumatised by her disfellowshipping when she was a teen etc.

The response I got was “she could just drift away and then live her life and wouldn’t be treated any differently. Disfellowshipping is for people who want to be JWs but also do whatever they want. It’s for people who continue to come to come to the meetings but also go around living a worldly life”

I feel gaslit because I don’t know if this is true!?