Is Lamictal just a lobotomy?

Hello,

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II in early 2023 and started Lamictal. In 2024 I was switched to Seroquel, which I overdosed on, and then restarted Lamictal in mid-2025.

Lamictal worked well at first, but I experienced a manic episode followed by psychosis through most of 2024. I’m 30 now and have had a full-blown paranoia induced manic episode about every 10 years—this was my third.

Since then, I feel like I’ve lost a battle with my brain I don’t care to fight again. I’ve given up on making much of an effort outside of my meds and therapy to get or feel better. I don’t at all agree with this state of being but Lamictal feels like it’s propagating my emotional muteness. I don’t really feel happy, sad, or angry—just numb. I’m also forgetting words more often, which I’ve seen others mention. In therapy I struggle to access or express my emotions.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you cope? My psychiatrist doesn’t think I need to change medications. I have a career I’m good at (funnily better at when I’m manic), I’m able to socialize and mask, I work out pretty regularly. Nothing is really helping me feel any drive or excitement though and I’m at my wits end. Is this just it? Is this the ideal image of curbing bipolar?