I had sex with an older man when I was 13.

Hello, I'm currently in 8th grade, and I'm 14 now at the present. I feel so disgusted to even be posting about this. I was 13, he was 32. He had a wife and newborn baby, at some point in this whole experience, I knew it was wrong,g but I just didn't stop. I don't even recall how I got to meet this man; he made me lie to my parents, saying I'd be going to the mall with my friends, so that he could get me alone in his house. Once we were at his house, he brought me to a bedroom, and it went on from there. I feel disgusted with myself because I don't wanna consider it rape because.. I didn't refuse or anything. I just feel like my experience isn't valid because I just.. let it happen.