I'm bi sexual but For some reason I can't bring myself to kiss guys or date them.

I've thought about it a few times, had the rare instances where you come across someone you connect with but for some reason kissing is so hard for me. Idk why, it just feels really awkward, there are times where I really want to do it but in my head it just feels way out of line. I grew up in a military household, they never showed love or made me feel loved so I guess it's carried on from that. Met someone this weekend who I played around with and I thought he was attractive and had a great personality I just couldn't bring myself to kissing them and I think I ruined it cause of that. Anyone else feel this way?