AITA for telling my father that his sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood

I dont want to retraumatize myself with this post, so I'm going to be vague in some parts of this post.

Anyway, I, 41m, got a call from my dad, 67m, earlier tonight where he told me that he just got his 1 year chip from AA, and he's working through his 12 step program and he wants to make amends.

Whike I understand that this is a big achievement for him, I spent my ENTIRE childhood suffering through random beatings because he would get wasted and decide that everything horrible in his life was because I was born. I like to think of myself as being a compassionate person but my compassion ends with him. I spent all of the early 90s black and blue, up until 1995 when I was finally removed from his custody ( my mom died when i was 3) and put into the Arizona foster care system ( which was fucked up in a completely different way). In spite, not despite, of my humble and broken beginnings, I have made something of myself. I am a business owner, I have a beautiful wife and three amazing kids. And up until 2 hours ago I hadn't spoken to him since I graduated high school in 2002.

When he called me, btws I have no idea how he even found my phone number, the first thing out of his mouth was " I know you have no reason to listen to anything I say, but Im sober and Im thinking about how bad of a dad i was to you",

my first words to him was " Lose my fucking number" he then said " I wanna meet my grandkids"

This is where I may be overreacting, I told him that he will never know his grandkids, and to them I said that my parents are dead. He started crying, which should have stirred something in me but honestly it didnt. Then I said " your sobriety doesnt make up for my childhood, I truly hoped you had drank yourself to death years ago, and just knowing that you're still alive is proof that God doesn't exist."

Then I hung up on him. I know that what I said is cold, but I also think that I may have overreacted.

Posted Feb 26, 2026, 8:04 AM UTC · locked

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