is it normal to feel this way?

sorry this is gonna be a kinda descriptive post, idk how else to describe it 😭 i am demisexual because i don’t feel sexual attraction to guys (I’m a straight woman), unless i have an emotional connection with them. but when i masturbate i get off to watching videos of guys masturbating. something about the motion and seeing their dicks is hot to me for some reason. but if they show their face in the video, it turns me off and i don’t know why. not that the guy is bad looking or anything, it just feels weird to me seeing their faces. often when i’m watching these videos, i’ll be imagining it’s a guy that i have/used to have an emotional connection with, so when i see their actual face it throws me off. does anyone else have this experience, does it make me weird, and does it maybe have to do with demisexuality or am i just shallow? thank you