My husband and his sudden changes

My husband (35M) and I (32F) have been married for 9 years. We got married because we truly loved each other. We have a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-month-old son. My family lives in another country, so honestly, I didn’t really want a second child because life is already hard without support.

When my first child was born, my husband was amazing. He was supportive, caring, romantic, and always defended me against his family. He was also a great father. Years later, he really wanted another baby. He wanted it so much that he was literally waiting outside the bathroom door for the pregnancy test result. When we found out I was pregnant, the first three months were perfect. He treated me like a queen and didn’t even want me to get tired.

But after the third month, everything changed. His friend group changed, and he was almost never home, day or night. I cried and begged him many times, telling him I was pregnant and needed him, but he didn’t listen. He also started smoking weed. A lot. And he began hanging out with people about 10 years younger than him.

At night, I was constantly scared I might go into labor alone. I finally told his father, who is actually a good man. He talked to him, but nothing changed. My husband became cold, angry, and full of resentment toward me. He blocked me on all social media and even on his phone, and saved my number as just a dot in his contacts. He kept saying his mental health was “broken.”

Later, his family moved to the country we live in. They are a very troubled family, and he started bringing all their stress and problems into our home. He eventually stopped working, his debts grew, and he had to close his shop. His father helped him, bought him some land to manage, and gave him an income. But even then, he didn’t work. He just went out all day. And somehow, he still blamed his father and cut himself off from everyone.

I was pregnant and under extreme stress. What I feared happened: at 35 weeks, my water broke. The night I gave birth, he didn’t answer his phone at all. I had to call my sister, and she took me to the hospital, which is one hour away.

After the birth, I hoped things would get better. They didn’t. My milk never came in, and now my baby is 3 months old. He keeps telling me, “I don’t love you. I don’t want you. I’m going to leave you.” This is coming from the man who used to not even be able to sleep without me next to him.

A couple of times, he suggested we sleep together. I thought maybe things were getting better, so I agreed. But the next morning he said, “Don’t think anything has changed. I feel the same. I have no feelings for you.”

In the last 8 months, he has maybe been nice once or twice. He hasn’t hugged me or touched me even once. His anger and coldness never really go away. Every day he looks at me with anger and says hurtful things.

There is no other woman, I’m 100% sure of that. Right now, I can’t get divorced. But honestly, my mental health is in a very bad place.

I’m especially asking men: why does someone change like this? What should I do? How should I act? Is there any way he can come back to himself?

TL;DR:

My husband completely changed during my pregnancy, became distant, angry, and emotionally cold, stopped supporting me, says he doesn’t love me anymore, and treats me badly. We have two kids, I can’t divorce right now, and my mental health is suffering. I’m trying to understand why this is happening and what I should do.