I’m not sure why I SH

I started self harming around back in 2024 during a really hard time, things got better and I stopped thankfully. Flash forward to present day and I’m self harming again. What’s funny is the fact my life is going pretty good, and it’s actually been going a lot better than it was a few months ago. I’m not sure why now I’m hurting myself, but I am. I have really bad anxiety and I think I use it to cope with intense emotions, even if that is excitement. The other day a guy I like called me pretty and I was stimming since I was like super happy. I paced around my room a bit before I decided to result to cutting. It’s not even out of wanting to hurt myself really, I just like doing it. I know that sounds awful because of how threatening and harmful it is to do something but I genuinely find comfort in it, and almost use it to self regulate and like “ground” me. When I’m not able to be in private, I’ll squeeze my fingers into my palms for a similiar affect. Again, i’m no longer in that bad headspace that I was in previously but I cut myself. I think if anyone were to find out, it’d be difficult explaining why I do what I do.