Advice for open relationship

My husband and I have been together since 2021. We have always been in a monogamous relationship, but in April 2025, we decided we wanted to explore having a threesome.

We met a guy on a gay dating app, and we had sex with him three times. Everything was great — there was no jealousy, just sex. Later, the three of us went on a trip together. I had high expectations for that trip. My husband and I wanted to stay in the same hotel room as him, but he refused. He said he couldn’t sleep if someone snores, and my husband snores a lot, so he stayed at a different hotel.

During the trip, things became very awkward because he refused to have sex with us. However, my husband kept being flirty and tried to convince him to have sex again. I was very annoyed because I hate feeling like we’re begging for sex. After being rejected several times, the trip became extremely uncomfortable. He mostly talked to my husband and rarely spoke to me. I started feeling like they were closer to each other and that I was the third wheel. I felt annoyed the entire time. Eventually, I decided to cut the trip short and changed our flights.

When we got back home to the U.S., my husband and I had a discussion. The guy told my husband that if it were just him and my husband, he would feel more comfortable. I was confused because we had just had a threesome two weeks earlier — why change his mind now?

Later, he told my husband that he only wanted to be friends without sex because he felt that we were happy together and that he was becoming the third wheel who might ruin our relationship. He also said he didn’t want to meet us in person again.

After that, I allowed my husband to text him but not meet him in person. Later, the guy called my husband for help because his account got hacked and he doesn’t speak English well. He ended up coming to our house, even though he had said he didn’t want to meet in person again. I could see that my husband was very enthusiastic about helping him and seemed to care about him.

The next day, my husband texted him and asked him to lunch because he works near the guy’s house and would be leaving for work in the next few days. After they arranged the time and location, my husband asked for my permission. I appreciated that he respected me and understood that I had been struggling with this situation.

That night, I had another discussion with my husband. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him continuing to talk to the guy because they had been texting a lot since the trip. My husband admitted that he liked him and that it’s hard to find a friend like him. He said he was being greedy because he wanted to be friends with him. I also admitted that I liked the guy too, but I felt like he didn’t like me back. That made me feel jealous, especially after what he said about being more comfortable with just my husband.

I told my husband to block him and stop texting him, and he agreed. My husband told me he would pick me over him but he would feel like it is a loss to lose a friend like him because the guy did not do anything bad to him. From my side of view, I do not treat him as a friend, and he is nobody to me after I was over with him.

Sorry for the long text. The situation has been very awkward, and my husband and I have had a lot of fights over this. Currently, I am still monitoring whether they are still talking to each other.

At one point, I was almost done with my husband because we also have compatibility issues. We disagree about many things. I even wanted a separation. But at the same time, I don’t want to lose him.

Advice: I need some honest advice from a stranger to help me clear my mind. Thank you.