anyone else get homicidal thoughts when struggling?

for the longest time i've had this underside to myself where i get both suicidal & homicidal urges when i'm in a rut. i never understood why.
i'm not usually violent in any way, and i don't believe in hurting others (physically).
yet i get these violent urges, and it makes me uncomfortable.
i would NEVER act out on them, but it makes me wonder.
in times like these i also struggle with anger issues, i guess..

but anyway so why do i go through this? why do i get homicidal if i'm depressed??
it makes no sense to me. any insight is appreciated, and lmk if anyone else is going through/has gone through something similar!