20 [F4A] socially inept boring cringe loser needs you!!! to kill them

i feel like this post should have more energy coming off the title but i can't really keep it up sorry! i have very little passion for living or dying but our bond!!! can hopefully change that

as for introductions, i'm a troubled almost 21 y/o neet! hi! i like to play and draw. i don't do it often. but our bond

!!!

can change that

obligated to confess that i'm awful and don't do much. admittedly i don't have many other personalities to compare myself with but i think that i'm boring.

to be more specific, i'm boring because i'm just not much of a person. that means i won't have many boundaries, if that's an incentive for you. but i don't really have strong opinions, little personality, and struggle to maintain interest in or do anything.

i feel like i don't have much to say, which is the biggest potential conflict we're like to go through. there's the chance this issue won't manifest, but like. i'm not that confident in myself. the way i'm hoping to mitigate this is through supplementing conversation with playing games and like, doing things together

realizing this is how all friendships work but you need to know the stakes involved. this is so different. i'll feel bad if i think you're bored of me. and like, ghost, i guess

i've never had many friends if you can't tell! i don't have a solid grasp on social interaction. this is the part where you take me out to pasture and put me down. i can't resist the urge to be kinda vulnerable and pathetic and to just, writhe around like this. stop reading if you hate me? um. hi. starts blushing

also i'm stupid. probably because of lack of mental stimulation, but i could also just be built like that. or maybe my brain has atrophied beyond repair and i'm stuck this way. please don't bet on me becoming any better. please please curb any expectations.

it's actually most likely because i didn't go to school for the latter half of my life. back in the day i was a hikikimori! eventually i got really scared and did a strained attempt at locking in for a year, graduated with minimum credits and did a college course, but now we're so back baby. i do go outside occasionally and have faint aspirations of a part time job, if that's a deal breaker though.

so the introduction is finally done. what would we be doing together? playing games, hanging out online and like, maybe, if we like eachother, if we trust eachother, being penpals. or something. just giving you options. we'd be doing whatever you want. i'm satisfied so long as we do a baldur's gate 3 playthrough someday (or something adjacent! i'm not picky.)

trying to save money so the games we can play are somewhat limited, but i do have most consoles excluding the switch 2. i've a pc, though. and a vr! i don't use it so i would really appreciate the chance. maybe tell me upfront whether we could play vrchat together? that could be the "say [word] in your initial message" requirement for me to respond.

voice chatting is not something i'm good at, but i'm alright with it if you're comfortable with silence. i'm better through text, marginally.

hi! additional note. i'm an aspiring pervert so if you want to talk about nsfw subjects, tell me now. i'd feel too humiliated broaching the topic otherwise. kills myself

i read manga and (though i'm admittedly very new to them) comics! and books. really do like videogames. off the top of my head, some media i enjoy are

-dragon age (my mage origin, mage hawke and mage lavellan mean way too much to me) -dragons dogma -gakkou gurashi -mario party jamboree -vampire the masquerade -misericorde -absolute martian manhunter -interview with the vampire -secret six (nicole maines, reading through gail simone) -locked tomb series -what happens next -ajin -nonary games -other things (danganronpa)

ask me a question about them and i will probably crumble. but these do hold a place in my heart

let's talk about you!!!! please don't be younger then me. but most other things are fine (my timezone is cst). would be interesting if you're just like me, i'm honestly very biased towards that. it feels like there is where my best bets lie. but hellooo to all the normal stable 40 y/o's out there. i'm not going to be disappointed if rather then mutual obsession this turns out to be a normal friendship. it'll do some good to have somebody in my life. to play baldur's gate 3 with. i get to be durge

if you don't find it uncomfortable, i love awkward and formal communication. again, very little boundaries on my end. i have standards (would be insulting to you if i didn't) but i genuinely won't judge you for most things. i'm self deprecating because i can't help it, but i'm not really that ashamed of myself. so if we share the same traits i'm not going to look down on you

okay the post is over. sorry if i gave the impression i think i'm funny or worthy of living. i don't write often so this is not going to be what i actually sound like when we talk. i'll keep this up for a day, maybe, until i'm too embarrassed. kyaa

i'm very inside my head all the time so i just assume that everybody will know my intentions and understands what i say. but i don't talk to many people, so i'm probably not a very good communicator. if i'm over or under explaining anything (or if you think i'm disgusting) please tell me! desperately need to know what i'm doing wrong here so any feedback is helpful. thank you for reading and please please please reach out to me if you genuinely want to be friends. love you bye