i almost lost myself kagabi

i tried to kill myself last night, but i failed. sobrang natatakot ako but the urges it gets worse, everyday ko nararamdaman na better matapos na lang lahat sa sobrang fucked up ng mind ko, lumalala suicide ideation ko pag gabi na, wala na akong maramdaman na anything i feel numb, wala na rin akong interest in anything, walang motivation to keep on going, i can’t feel genuine happiness, i go blank, i feel worthless and i isolate most of the time..