Would you rather be ghosted, or know that the deep hurt you caused is the reason why your relationship broke down, even if it was rooted in your avpd and the truth could be unbearable?

The question can be applied to friendship, romance or acquaintanceship. The important thing is it's mainly or entirely your fault, you can't undo or repair the damage, rebuilding the relationship is impossible and all hopes are gone. Everything you thought about it was just wishful thinking and fantasy.

I think this will be a familiar pattern to many here. No malice intended, but words, action and inaction driven by fear, paranoia and isolation ruins everything, irreparable harm done to those we claim to care about. I've been on both sides of the fence and find myself here again, but I learned nothing from previous experience and of course I don't ever know what to do for the best.

Do you think you want your own worst fears confirmed even if that means you now know that you caused someone you loved worst fears to be realised? Do you need to know why you lost someone, no matter how much it's going to hurt you? Or is ignorance bliss, is it better to be ghosted and not be sure what really happened?