45 [M4F] #anywhere/online - Incredibly asinine title that you barely scan read, but maybe click on anyway as it has "slut" or "Daddy" in it....

... followed by a ridiculous non-sequitur that makes no sense, but is there in the vain hope that you laugh and feel compelled to read a little further.

Vague descriptions of a middle aged fat man, both physically (I promise I'm not fat!) and mentally (I'm totally grounded and normal!), which give no real indication as to what I actually look like at all. A trangression into a list of things that I like or don't like, usually based around media or interests far too current and fashionable, which are absolutely tailored to forlornly attempt to attract a younger girl than I should be looking for.

Never listing a location, so that the net is cast as far and wide as possible. Never bothering with requirements or desired traits from a potential partner, because the reality is anything will do to sate the lonliness.

A list of kinks and things that get me excited that verge on the creepy or weird, followed by a dishonest and duplicitous effort to maintain that I'll respect any boundaries and limits that you might have. A reiteration that I'll take you very seriously indeed (whilst obviously only in this hoping that you'll send tits and nudes on demand).

A final paragraph which attempts to smooth over the desperate attempt to to garner and acquire a young, dumb little cunt from a seedy website advert. The paragraph will try to be serious but funny as well, providing a book end that wipes the previous creepy and weird content a little. It might even have something like "if you reply please tell me your favourite cheese so that I know you've read this", like I'm at all likely to get more than one reply, probably from an OF bot, if I'm lucky.

Post it, sit back and constantly refresh the main site all fucking day, hoping that a little red mark appears in the top right corner. Get home and sit alone in your desperate grief hole , having a big crying wank in the late evening, as you realise no one finds you interesting at all.

Rinse, repeat.

^(A nice comment on the homogenous and boring nature of a bunch of the posts these days :))