What does "reliving traumatic experiences" mean for you?

Hi! i am not professionally diagnosed with CPTSD, so please forgive me if i shouldn't be posting this here like this, but i have done my research and i notice that i match a concerning amount of diagnostic criteria. one of the symptoms is "reliving traumatic experiences". I'm curious on how this manifests in people who have the diagnosis!

for me, i feel like i relate to this as i think about my traumatic experiences basically daily. i do not remember a day in which i haven't thought about how i've been hurt in the past basically every time i don't have some kind of distraction, even if it's not relevant to my current life at all and things are so much different now.

Though, what makes me skeptical of if this is a CPTSD trait in myself is because it doesn't feel debilitating? i guess? well, it certainly doesn't make me feel good, but it just feels normal and i've accepted it as a part of my daily life and i don't let it get in the way of myself.

the only exception, when it actually does interfere with my life, is when i'm able to connect these situations to my current relationships, which makes me shut down for a few hours and usually manifests through short, severely depressive episodes or panic attacks (though that's more rare). These shutdowns only started appearing after i got into my first relationship a few months ago, and my fear of abandonment was setting off fires in my mind. though, they show up more rarely now, because my partner completely understands and is willing to support me as much as possible :-)

Do people who actually have been diagnosed with CPTSD relate to this, or is it different for you? It would be great to hear your own experiences with this trait, if you're comfortable with sharing. Once again, I apologize if this should have been posted elsewhere, please let me know if it should. I'm just unable to speak to a professional at this moment, so i would like to get at least some clarity from folks who may understand these things better than me. Thank you in advance!! :-)