Voters Agree Trump Solved Affordability Crisis

"Well, you have to agree that he has made huge progress," area man, Hugh G. Kuntz told The Onion. "I mean, look at Elon Musk. Before the election, he could only afford 6 private jets, and now he can afford to buy Raytheon and rename it to X before the Iran war starts. Now that's what I call affordability."

The Onion also spoke to Alabama voter Cletus "Tiny" Dique, as he was on the way to buy the three eggs for the month. "Trump has gone and done a great job," he said. "Just the other day we sold one of my sister/wife's teeth, and we could afford to buy a piece of chickin, piece of broccoli, a corn tortilla and one other thing."