I.am.so.tired.of.masking.every.fcking.day

painkillers don't work -suck it up, doctors dismissing you -suck it up, friends/family/partners not believing you - suck it up, weed doesn't help-suck it up supplements don't help- suck it up... etc etc

Some people notice and ask what's wrong and you don't even have a strenght to explain yourself so you just say 'I'm tired' or a 'Bad night' and try to push the smile over the pain.

I am so tired and in the middle of a flare that won't go away and I just got home and started crying before I even entered the building, I am sure so many of you feel this way every fucking day and there is no end in sight, it's been decades now and I am tired.

(44, officially diagnosed with scoliosis, spondylosis, hypermobility, probably have hEDS but nobody treats that in my country, also probably have RA but my tests were negative so they dismissed me and I'm probably entering perimenopause so I'm kinda hypersensitive atm and just needed a place to vent, ty)