I keep having fantasies of being with a guy because it makes me feel better.

I'll be honest about it, I've been thinking for a while about being with a man while in my relationship. I am currently dating a girl, and I haven't really had much experience with guys... scratch that I have but mainly being led on or just sent dick pictures but I feel like I just haven't met the right one yet or actually had the basis of being reciprocated through love with one. The usual ones I attract are assholes, short, or have a weird attraction to their moms, and I've been afraid of the phrase "guys date their moms" so I try to act hard to get and not comforting and they just find some other girl to leer at.

I also think about when I go to college, I'll meet some guy there that I connect with, and I won't be able to pursue him because I'm dating already.