Bi woman leaning more gay navigating first intentional strap dynamic with experienced switch

Hi. I am a bisexual woman who probably leans more toward women, but I built a long term life with an amazing man who is very open minded. We have explored together before, but I recently told him I want to intentionally explore women on my own because my past experiences with women honestly were not great and did not reflect what I am actually drawn to. And he’s more than accepting with all of this.

I am planning to meet up with a close lesbian friend. She’s also a friend of my husband’s, however it’s consent all around and is not awkward what-so-ever. She is experienced, confident, and very much a switch, though she has mostly been in top roles for years. I am more lipstick energy but can lean dominant too. The chemistry between us is strong and very charged.

She is into strapping, and I prefer penetration, but I have never actually used or brought a strap myself. I am trying to approach this intentionally rather than awkwardly. I do not want to show up underprepared or bring something that feels out of place. Is there a typical style or setup that is considered standard or beginner friendly in lesbian dynamics? Also important note, I know she won’t be bringing a strap

I also know I personally need a lot of stimulation to finish. It is not easy for me. My husband has been the only one who consistently made me finish, and even then it has taken focus. I am planning on bringing a wand because I do not want pressure around that part.

For those of you who have navigated a situation where one person has more experience and the dynamic is fluid, what helped you feel confident instead of in your head? What conversations are important before introducing straps or toys into the mix?

I want this to feel grounded, respectful, and intentional.