Dilemma: Am I Ignoring Red Flags Because He’s My “Type”… After Only 3 Days?

I (F) matched with a guy on Hinge three days ago, and I feel slightly insane even writing this because it’s only been three days.

But we have strong chemistry. The conversation flows, we think similarly, and I genuinely feel excited about him. That’s rare for me.

I don’t have a racial “type,” but I do have a type in terms of intelligence, ambition, mindset, and style and he ticks those boxes. I’m a corporate woman and I value driven, intelligent men. He seems aligned with me intellectually and professionally.

He’s also younger than I usually date (I tend to go 5–10 years older), but he seems mature, which surprised me in a good way.

The problem is: I rarely find men who feel this aligned with me, so I’m worried I might be overlooking red flags because I like him so much.

Things That Concern Me

1. Social Media Presence

He has around 2,000 Instagram followers. Not necessarily bad, but it makes me question his lifestyle or whether he enjoys attention.

2. Lifestyle Differences

He goes out in Mayfair frequently. I’m more low-key, cafés, small gatherings, simple activities. I don’t know if we align long-term socially.

3. First Date Suggestion

He suggested a double date for the first meeting (I bring a friend, he brings a friend). This felt casual and gave hookup vibes. I prefer intentional one-on-one time.

4. Conflict Handling

When I expressed discomfort about the double date, he said I was “overthinking” and unfollowed me. We follow each other again now, but that felt reactive and like he gave up quickly.

5. Religion

I’m Christian. He’s Jewish. Our values slightly align, but it’s still a major difference.

I also know that in some communities, Jewish men may date outside their religion but marry within it. I don’t want to be someone’s temporary experience. I’m not thinking about marriage right now, but I am dating intentionally and don’t want to waste time or develop feelings for someone who was never serious long-term.

6. Race Concerns

I’m a Black woman. His friend openly has a “type” (blondes/brunettes), which made me question whether he also has a type and whether I’d be an experiment. I’ve heard stories of Black women being dated casually but not taken seriously for long-term commitment, and that’s a fear of mine.

7. Intentions Are Unclear

He didn’t specify long-term vs short-term on Hinge. When I asked about his intentions directly, he took a full day to reply.

8. Effort Imbalance?

He rarely messages first, but when I message him, he replies instantly. I can’t tell if he’s reserved, unsure, or just not that invested.

Important Context

We’ve only been talking for three days.

Which makes me question myself.

Maybe I’m overthinking because I like him. Maybe I’m reacting strongly because the chemistry feels intense and fast.

Also, when I raised some of my concerns (double date, race, etc.), I didn’t communicate them in the best way. My points were valid, but my tone wasn’t great. So I’m trying to account for that and give him grace.

But I also feel like when I express my standards, wanting clarity, intentional dating, one-on-one time…he subtly makes me feel like I’m “too much.”

For me, these aren’t extras. They’re fundamentals.

My Question

* Am I spotting genuine red flags?

Or am I projecting long-term fears onto a man I’ve known for three days because I’m scared to waste time?

* At what point does “strong chemistry” become emotional overinvestment?

* And how do you tell the difference between intuition and anxiety?