Mom guilt for wanting a break? ( still breastfeeding)

I am losing my ever loving mind. I’m a SAHM to three kids (10M 8M 1F ) I haven’t had much time to myself since even before the birth of my daughter. I was in the hospital for two weeks before birth for pre e and then with my daughter ever since. I breastfeed and cosleep so even thought my daughter is 16 month, my body is still not my own.

My husband works 12am-6pm ( it changes but that’s usually the most regular schedule) M-F. So you can see I’m pretty pressed on how much alone time or help I get. My husband is great, he never pressures me to cook, clean or anything. He truly is amazing and understanding, my toddler AKA Boob Barnacle is the unruly one. She does not take a pacifier ( although I continue to try and know it’s just another habit I’ll have to nip. ) and she will not sleep without nursing or fall asleep with her dad. So yeah, I’m pretty touched the f£€k out. I tried to get her to sleep without nursing last night and it was absolutely awful.

I truly need a break or I will lose my ever-loving mind. I have a very good friend in Michigan I haven’t seen in months and I’ve found a pretty cheap flight for ONE to go, just for the weekend. I thought about going and leaving my daughter with her dad to not only night wean, but also so I catch a break but I feel so guilty. I debated if I should just take her with me and still go, or wait until I can finally night wean her to go. I’m torn because I really need a break, but I have absolutely NO CLUE how this will be on her. Will she cry and scream all night? Will this “scar” her in a way?( I don’t like the CIO method or the aftereffects. )

Any advice or guidance is greatly appreciated 🫶🏼