I’m 18 now, and I still think about someone I once called my ultimate happy crush.

We were classmates for two years in Senior High under ABM strand. He was my “ultimate happy crush.” The kind that made school days a little more exciting. The kind that made me care about how I looked and how I acted. But here’s the thing we had this lowkey beef. He didn’t like me, not because he rejected me. He simply never made any move, and I never expected him to. We were classmates, nothing more.😞

He always stood out academically in SHS. Smart, disciplined, consistently among the top ranks in class.

Back then, I wasn’t my best self. I was lazy, sometimes inconsiderate, and honestly not someone I’m proud of. I carry that guilt with me. I assumed I wasn’t his type anyway. He probably liked pretty, smart, talented girls, and I didn’t see myself as any of those. But even with that mindset, I still pushed myself in school. I managed to get honors and even score the highest in some quizzes.😏💯 I wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t completely give up on myself either.

What stresses me out is that his name still randomly pops into my mind. For no reason. It’s annoying. I hate that it still affects me when we never even had anything real.

After SHS graduation, something small but meaningful happened: he added me on Facebook. I didn’t even know what to think at first, but I felt relief and quiet happiness.

He showed me what discipline looked like. What excellence looked like. It didn’t surprise me when I later heard that in college, he became a topnotcher in his accounting major exam.🫢

I don’t know if our paths will ever cross again. Maybe we’ll stay strangers or maybe we won't.

What I've learned is crushes don’t always have to turn into something romantic. Sometimes they push you to level up, to become better, to want growth.

Now, I'm focusing on my own path. I still struggle with what I'm doing sometimes, but I know I’m going to figure it out. I'm also in trasit to become a CPA, but honestly, I’m still unsure. I’m trying, and I want to believe things will make sense eventually. For now, I’m just taking it one step at a time.🥹