Attachment theory is being over-utilized for things it was never meant to help with

Attachment theory has become the new astrology and it's wild to me how much this is discussed in the subreddit as absolute fact. What started as clinical research on how infants bond with their parents has devolved into a personality test for adults who’ve had two bad dates when it was never meant for that and the science doesn't currently support that.

The problem is both the science and the application. We’re taking observable infant behavior and using it as a fixed identity for adults navigating relationships. Labeling yourself or another person as "anxious" or "avoidant" just provides a convenient script that requires zero further thought. It treats human behavior like a clinical diagnosis rather than a reaction to a specific person in a specific moment.

People act differently depending on who they’re with, and we are taking specific snapshots and using armchair psychology to give people life advice. Let alone the fact that there are huge problems with attachment theory data to begin with especially regarding adults. Most adult attachment data relies on how people think they act, not how they actually behave. Attachment is relationship-specific and context-dependent. The same person may show security with one partner and anxiety with another for perfectly good reasons.