♀️(18) this side...

I dont know where to start from..i am so meessed up ....i somehow like being lonely cause eventually my only bestfriend got into a accident and passed away ... I am not even interested in making friends at this point ..

I am even surprised to see this side of me cause just a few years ago i used to have a quite big social circle ...even if i am near my classmates i rarely speak...I thought maybe dating would change things but i guess i dont feel that spark yo date anyone at this point...and i am not interested in active participant even held by my school...I saw quite a few people here in reddit finding great friends...but i dont know how can a person trust a total stranger so easily...

P.S.-Maybe i like the idea of having someone i can tell my day to day life stuff but have no will or trust left to put efforts....