intj guilt?

i was seeing an intj for a while, we were previously friends for years but now more. recently he ended things with me, said the cliche line that it was him not me, and in the moment it honestly felt like it came out of nowhere (but now i get it was probably on his mind for weeks). i had some emotional whiplash and was pretty immediately heartbroken. he mentioned it was the distance and circumstance but i think that was an excuse, although i can see external stressors being an aspect. then recently he called me and we talked about it and he explained he felt a lot of guilt among other feelings about the breakup and worried he irreparably hurt me. i am sensitive so i get it but… he also flip-flopped on the breaking up part with me a few times, which was hard, but ultimately told me he needs time and space to process everything.

anyway there’s a lot i could talk about here but i have already stressed about and over-analyzed everything, so i’m mostly trying to give him space and work on my healing from all these turn of events without jumping to worry about what he’ll conclude after his processing. with mixed results which prob isn’t faring well lol.

i guess i’m wondering, i’ve noticed that guilt is a common emotion expressed here. especially when it comes to hurting someone you care about. where does this emotional responsibility / caregiving come from? if the problem is he can’t handle my emotional sensitivity, or that he thinks he can’t give what i need emotionally, is there any way to relieve him of feeling that responsibility or is it kind of just an incompatibility?