"If she doesn't have any female friends, there's something wrong with her." heard this on YouTube, and now I'm upset.

So I'm watching a YouTube video by a woman who seems socially savvy, and has beautiful, skilful make-up. She seems the opposite of someone like me, who struggles to make friends and has never gotten into makeup. For a moment I worry she might be like the kids who bullied me in primary school, or who excluded me in secondary school, for not meeting their standards of femininity. But I tell myself not to worry and keep watching.

Then she does a video on a cruel woman who hangs out with exclusively men and throws another woman under the bus for male approval. As she talks about this nasty person, she makes it clear that this woman not having other female friends is a huge red flag -- "if a woman doesn't have female friends, there's something wrong with her."

I am feeling hurt and lonely. It brings back feelings that there's no way I can be friends with feminine women, they will always consider me defective. I have female friends now who I love, but there was a time when my friend group was exclusively male and I met these women through them. (At the time, my studies and hobbies were male-dominated, about 1f:30m.)

I have to remind myself I have friends now, and I'm actively learning how to make more. I don't know how to make female friends by myself irl, but I would like to befriend some of the women I've met recently!