Advice for quitting

I’m not a player, I’m the spouse of someone who plays Kingshot, and I’m posting because I’m trying to save our relationship. I want him to be able to read this and also hear perspectives from other players.

This all started when I was pregnant and living in France, and I think he got deeply involved as a way to find a community while I was far from family. Now I’m almost 7 months postpartum, and the pattern hasn’t really slowed down.

From my perspective, the game quietly takes over entire days: constant checking, long events, alarms early in the morning. Weekends disappear, work bleeds into play, and real-life responsibilities like jobs, kids, and family time always get worked around the game.

I know he’s trying to quit: switching alliances, adjusting his schedule, cutting back, and I see his effort. But it still dominates our lives, and it feels impossible for him to fully step away, even when he wants to.

Honestly, it feels like the game kind of takes advantage of people. It shouldn’t feel this hard to quit when someone clearly wants to, and that makes it even harder to watch him struggle. I understand that a lot of this comes from boredom, stress, or wanting stimulation, it’s not laziness.

I’d really like to hear from people who have stepped back or quit:

• How did you know it had gone too far?
• What did you replace it with when you were bored or restless?
• How did it affect your job, your kids, or your relationships?

I’m not here to shame anyone, I need advice/help. I just want to understand what’s on the other side of this, because I’m trying to figure out how to preserve my relationship while still feeling seen and respected in real life.