I wish I was not born or destined to this

Sometimes I wish, my mom died when I was young...idk if that's right or wrong for her or me or I'm just selfish, since 2020 she's cancer...she got fine but in 2024 she got it again this time metastatic and she can't be completely fine now. We are doing every treatment possible. She's tired all the time...i was in 12th start when she got sick for the first time. ever since I've been doing everything at home cooking cleaning caring and I'm just so tired. not of the work but seeing my friends and colleagues and classmates enjoying there lives. Even during the time she was fine better, I used to do everything, i didn't attend my college both for my graduation and pg, I took a clg where I could stay home and study by myself. now my father seems sick to mostly, all I do is hospital visits and cook clean. I'm 22, doing this since I was 18. I like doing all this but recently i feel so sick of this that I'll be in a loop of this. I don't see a future. ik many ppl do wonderd even in such conditions or worse but I'm just tired. tired of seeing my mother in pain, tired of always being worried. I just wanna quit. I'm so tired. idk exactly what to do.