How do I let go of resentment toward mom

My mother has always had this tendency to be a worrier and thus has been a semi intense helicopter parents my entire life. Even into adulthood (27M) I still often feel as though im spoken to as a child, and I feel she doesn't seem to understand that I do in fact know how navigate life on my own 95% of the time. Thats can range from big life events to the most mundane things. An example being "make sure you change furnace filters every month you need to do it"(i dont live with them) like yes I am aware. Im a HVAC guy for Christ's sake. Why would I not know to do that? Seems stupid i know, but this happens with a variety of things throughout my day to day life and goes back to my teen years. I just never feel like I've been treated like an adult. She used to text my cousins when we went camping to make sure I was eating and to cook for me if I wasn't, when i was 23...that isn't normal man. Maybe its because I dont have kids and am not married? Who really knows.

She also always says im her best friend. Like while I appreciate that. I am your son not your marriage counselor or therapist. I dont know how to deal with her marital problems. I have enough of my own im trying to navigate while I figure out who I am as a person. She prioritized her kids over her marraige and keeping any friends which i think is great but a healthy marraige also created a healthy environment to raise kids in in my opinion. She wants me at her house every weekend and gets very needy if I dont come every weekend. I will get I love you texts 3 or 4 times a day. I dont mind saying it back at all. I love my mom but saying it that many times a day gets a little wierd to me to be honest. I know she struggles with being an empty nester and has gotten better in some regards but I still cant seem to let go of the past. Ive tried bringing it up and she says its just because she cares. But there's caring then theirs overbearing.

Basically. Im trying to let go because I dont want our relationship to become more strained. But I just cant. I get so frustrated sometimes it takes everything I have to keep a cool head about it. If anyone has any advice on how to navigate this sort of relationship that would be fantastic. I love my mom i want a healthy relationship with her but I dont know how to achieve that. Sorry for the wall of text.