i slapped my sister 3 times

i slapped my sister 3 times because i was done. i snapped. she's 16 years old and i'm 18 years old, also a girl. i feel like i'm the worst person ever, the worst sibling, everything. she's a liar, a pathological one. even if it's only about something small, she would lie about it. i hate liars, ultimately. i made her do a simple task of making the bed. she lied that she did what i said, which is simply making the bed well. she's lazy. among everything, she does only two things in the house, which is washing the dishes and making the bed ONCE A WEEK. i checked how she made the bed once, it was done wrong. then i asked her to make it again or i'll get her device off of the wifi's router, nothing changed. i then removed her device on the wifi's router. that made her kept on turning the wifi off. i got mad. we fought with words. i said i will smack her if she turned it off again, she provoked me to do so, so i did. i'm not proud of it. i feel like i became the type of person i hated most. i was driven by my anger.

maybe i posted this looking for some validation that a person truly has limits if tested. maybe this is just a way for me to vent this out knowing i won't tell anyone about this due to how bad it is. i'm honestly tired. she's been that way for years. this is the first time i really got violent with her. she's also one of the reasons why i want to commit suicide but also a reason for me to stay because i'm the eldest and she's my responsibility, like my father said. we also don't have a mom which makes things worst on my side. our father isn't that great too. i've always felt alone in this house. i've always tried to treat my sister well, i know that. when i was younger, i wasn't that aware of my bad actions. after being aware, i tried my best to be better. with her, i've always felt like a joke, someone to not be taken seriously, like she's just forced to be near me or listen to me. it all sucks, i do too.