I'm finally ready, but I need some assistance

After finishing ds1 and 3 more than once and listening to more opinions of this game, the excitement for DS2 has slowly increased again. I want to die. I want to struggle. I want the difficulty. I want it all.

I'm planning on going heavy into adaptability and health. I'm not trying to "cheese" by going out of my way to get specific OP items. I'm not intending to mod. I'm not joining that covenant.

With that said, how can I make my experience more in line with what this game is intending me to do and how to play, instead of trying to treat it like ds1? What crucial knowledge might one easily miss, or rather, how might I acquire it in the game?

Last time the ambush and ganks got to me. I've heard there's a difference between sotfs and ''vanilla"? Which one should I play in this regard? How do I avoid them more, should I not go for that one juicy loot in a little too suspicious area because I really won't need it? Just keep going forward?

I guess I'm trying to get some lessons that the game teaches you from people who are familiar with them, without specific "get this item" or similar.