~6 Months of Severe Dysregulation after medication reactions and abusive relationshio. Is this normal?

Just to preface this post I asked Claude to help me clean up my post and format it so it's a little easier to take in and grasp. Also note that some of this may be triggering (medication issues, relational issues, etc) and I applied the Question tag with NSFW because I'm not sure what else fit here.

I've been severely dysregulated for about 6 months now and I'm struggling to understand if this timeline is normal or if I should be doing something different.

What happened: In September, I started having severe anxiety (thought it was just life stress like school, family responsibilities, girlfriend with neurological issues). I thought I could handle it with therapy and medication like "normal" anxiety. I started taking SSRIs/SNRIs (Prozac, then buspirone, then Effexor). Each medication made things progressively worse instead of better. I developed severe depersonalization/derealization. I couldn't process my surroundings, reality felt unstable, went into freeze states where I literally couldn't move for hours/days. During my worst episodes, my girlfriend (who I'd just moved in with) became abusive and she told me my problems were "all in my head," gave ultimatums about getting better or she'd leave, yelled at me during freeze states, called me a failure. This went on for months while I was already in crisis. I was also forced to the psych ward during the absolute worst of it by my family. I don't resent them, but I was dissociative the entire time and the entire experience was just horrible and terrifying.

Where I am now: Moved out from girlfriend's place about a month ago. I stopped Effexor about 2 weeks ago. I blocked ex-girlfriend a week ago. I'm currently living with my mom. I'm in constant mild dissociation with activation underneath. Even though I'm "safe" now (no abusive relationship, off meds that were making me worse), my nervous system is still screaming 24/7. I feel like I'm in threat mode constantly with no relief.

My symptoms: Wake up buzzy/activated every day, stay spaced out all day. Severe stimulation sensitivity (even basic activities like showering overwhelm me for hours). Can barely do basic hygiene, take out trash, or walk around the block. Random moments where I feel like I'm losing my mind, not even ruminating, just super weird and scary sensory issues. Only sleep because of trazodone. No consistency and symptoms vary wildly day to day, but I never really have a "good" day.

What I'm doing: IOP (intensive outpatient) starting next week Current therapist does exposure-based work (which feels wrong and she keeps pushing me to "do things" when I can barely function). I have a psychiatrist who doesn't seem to really care and seems distracted during every visit and asks questions I already or just answered.

My questions:

1. Is 2-3 weeks off medications too soon to expect improvement? I know people say it takes time, but I'm not seeing ANY substantial change. I waited about a month after prozac, 3 weeks after buspirone, and now it's 2 weeks off effexor and I think I'm just done with meds.

2. How long did recovery take for those with similar experiences? (Medication-induced dysregulation + relationship trauma).

3. Is IOP even realistic when I can barely handle a shower? I'm terrified I don't have the capacity for 3 hours/day, 4 days/week.

4. For those who recovered - what actually helped? Everyone says "trauma-informed therapy" but I can't even get into see one, and meanwhile I'm just existing in misery and constant activation or dissociation.

I guess I'm looking for both validation that this timeline is real/normal, and also hope that this eventually gets better. Right now it feels permanent and I can't see a way out. I just feel trapped and wildly uncomfortable every day.