How can I become one of them?

There’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while: how do you become part of the aristocratic or “elite” world? I’m not talking about money or becoming rich not at all but about the shared codes that seem to exist in that space.

I’ve noticed there are often common interests, like art, theatre, music… but also a certain way of dressing, eating, speaking, and even the topics they talk about.

I feel like these are things I should understand and learn, but I don’t really know where to start.

People might say “just learn from them”, but I genuinely want to understand these codes so I can speak their language, connect with them, and feel like I belong instead of feeling out of place.

And again, this isn’t about money. Someone can be rich and still seem like an outsider simply because they don’t have that presence or cultural ease.

I’d love recommendations books, podcasts, or even small things I can start doing