Anyone else hate their last name

so ever since I remember I hated my last name and thought it was a cusre a couple of days ago I bought a gun and my mother heard

she goes on to say thats the Quiroz line that my brother is both got guns and that im just like them ( my brothers have been in jail multiple times and unfortunately have been throwing their lifes away)

it got me thinking about my last name again and my mind was flooded with every time my mother had compared me to my brothers and father I always tried to do better to get aways from being like them ( mean alcoholic and unruly )

and with all these thoughts and a son soon to be on the way I'm conflicted if I should give him my last name it makes me worry makes me think they're going to think of him some kind of way a way I didn't want myself

I want to change the way people view my last name not only for me but for my son and some advice on how to get through this I have tried talking to my mother about my father but it seems that she gets nervous or doesn't want to talk about it and I understand he was an abusive person I don't want to bring up any memories but I need some advice