SHORT STORY FROM A GAMBLING ADDICT.

Iv been gambling hard the last 4/5 years particularly the last 2 years have gotten progressively heavier. Higher stakes more frequent deposits. I’m 30 years old and have been consumed by my addiction really bad the last 2/3 years (nearly every day) I have stopped for a couple weeks here and there but I’m at my wits end right now. I live with my partner and son and should be putting my energy into both of them instead of gambling I understand that. But as an addict it’s all I want to do. I do and I don’t want to gamble I have the conscious awareness that it’s wrong but I can not stop. Iv gotten help from councillors and it has helped for a short period. Basically I hit a big win end of November 2024 and won around 27k. I immediately logged out of the site and withdrew my money and told myself I was finished.(realistically it was probably the amount of money I had gambled the previous years before hand, but I was happy to get such a big win ) little did I know it would be the worst thing to happen me. 2 days later I had signed back in and started gambling with the money, it was completely gone in 48 hours. I wanted the world to swallow me up. It felt like someone had control over me and I could not stop even when I had 4/5k left I wanted it all to be gone than take anything at all. It’s crazy. From then 11/12/24 I have been gambling to try get the money back. I spent around 30/4k since trying to win it back and 2 weeks ago I won 20k (so even tho I taught I’d got another big win, I only got half of the money back I went chasing with) but again.. I was happy , I was playing on a site which only allows you to withdrawl 15k monthly, I’d been playing on the site for around 2/3 weeks and had already taken out 15k from winning other bets, I was playin slots and getting lucky (well I taught I was) long story short I could not withdrawl the 20k as my limit was already peaked at 15k, I could withdrawal 6k so that’s what I did. The remaining 14k was sat in my account. I couldn’t stop thinking about gambling and wanted to make more! So I started to gamble. It was gone within 24 hours. I couldn’t believe it I made the same mistake only a year and a few months prior. I had money in my bank that I had withdrawn already, I paid some bills off and left myself with 3.5k so I deposited 500€ on the same day I lost the remaining balance of the 14k I had in the account, surprisingly I hit a max win 2x and got the money back up to 13500€ I couldn’t believe it I had won it back up it’s basically 1k in the difference (the €500 I used to try win it back) I gave my friend my account password and email password so I couldn’t change my password I taught I was set! 4 days passed and I asked my friend for the password as I wanted to hit the live chat up to ask what date I could withdrawl my 13500€. I signed in and within 4 hours the money was gone again for the second time. I’m writing this message here to just basically show people if you have a gambling problem no matter what you will never EVER be satisfied with what you win and you will keep going untill you honestly have nothing left. I have since then (last week) put another 4000€ in trying to chase it ! It’s taking over my life and I’m fed up at this stage I just want it all to end and finish gambling completely I know it’s going to be hard and a long journey and battle every day but I am drained and want it finished with at this stage I really do ! Just said I’d come on here and ask for some guidance and help as to what to do for my next step. I know I have the power to give it up all and move forward with my life. Hope this can get to even one person and help them with their ongoing addiction like myself. As it really really really is not worth it.